Somehow, the Tobay Triathlon is upon us. In two sleeps I will be waking up in my childhood bed at an ungodly hour to journey to my first multi-sport race.
Joining me on the course will be two amazing ladies and the world's best support squad. Yet despite the comforts of home, the fun of racing with two friends, and the support of family members:
I am straight up petrified, people.
This is the first time in awhile that I'm attempting something I've never done before and it's scary. I've tried thinking back to how I felt before my first marathon and I don't think I was this stressed out. With my marathon, I bought into the whole "trust your training" mantra hook line and sinker.
But with this tri, my training hasn't had me run into the Long Island Sound with hundreds of other people kicking, swimming, and splashing around and on top of me.
Physically, I know I can handle a sprint distance triathlon. Mentally, it's a whole 'nother story.
It's no secret that I've struggled with swimming. Multiple times I've cried about it (dramatic, I know). I'm not comfortable in a 4 foot deep pool with no one around me. How the hell am I going to make it a half mile in the murky, crowded Sound?
It comes down to determination and reminding myself of how far I've come and how badly I've wanted to become a triathlete. It's focusing on the fact that I have overcome a lot of mental challenges already - getting to the starting line wasn't a cake walk. Here's a reminder to myself of how I got here:
- Over a year ago I got myself into a pool. I've consistently swam, even taking lessons in a disgusting Chinatown pool, for over a year despite dreading it each and every time.
- I worked for months at a running store after my 9-5 day job - saving everything I made there until I could buy myself a road bike.
- Embarrassment didn't stop me from clipping in for the first time in the middle of Central Park completely alone - where I promptly tipped over into a giant patch of mud.
- Despite my initial fears, tears, falls and flats - I've learned to love my bike. It's taken me fun places, brought my roommate and I closer, and even introduced me to new friends.
- Biking and swimming provided an outlet while I suffered through months off from running.
- Being able to swim in a giant pool in the middle of Central Park is just one of those NYC things that makes me question how I could ever leave. Also, I question how I never noticed Lasker Pool until this summer.
As I was typing this and listening to showtunes (naturally) - I Have Confidence from The Sound Of Music came on. New theme song for Sunday:
I've always longed for adventure
To do the things I've never dared
Now here I'm facing adventure
Then why am I so scared
So many people have promised me that during my first tri, many things can and WILL go wrong - but that I will still absolutely love it. We'll find out if that's the case on Sunday!