blogger

Feeling Stuck? Focus on the Little Things

I’ve been in a funk.

I don’t know why, exactly, but lately I’ve just felt stagnant. Stuck.

It’s confusing for someone who is always filling their schedule and running around non-stop to feel stuck. I’m constantly traveling and my weekends at home in NYC are limited - so I’m far from stuck in that sense of the word.

But when I think about my life in the past 5 years - that’s when the feeling of “what do I have to show for it?” sets in.

When you’re in your late twenties, you’re finally comfortable with the fact that your social circle has shrunk significantly. You know who is going to stick around, who is going to remain a part of your life. And you’re confident that even if big chunks of time have passed, you’ll end up making time for each other. But this also means conversations over drinks where you’re recapping big gaps of your life using generalities.

These conversations are what I’ve been beating myself up over.

So, since writing is cheaper than therapy (and I can do it in the comfort of my own room) - here is what I would tell those friends and family members that I’m catching up with if I had more than a few minutes to get them up to speed!

catchupcover.png

The Question:

“Where are you living these days?”

The Short (“I Feel Stuck”) Answer:

“I’m in the same apartment I’ve lived in for the past 4 years. I’m kind of over living with roommates for the past decade, but, I definitely can’t afford to live on my own yet. Manhattan, am I right?”

The Long Answer:

I live in the same apartment I’ve lived in for the past 4 years and I’ve slowly but surely been making it feel more like home.

I bought this blue velvet couch last year that’s the most comfortable thing in the world that I absolutely love. I’ve taken a lot of A+ naps on it. And I splurged on a wool blanket in Estonia that perfectly matches my color scheme and makes me happy every time I see it.

Being so close to Central Park is something I never want to give up. I swim, bike and run there every day in the spring and summer.

Nothing beats having a washer/dryer in my unit after a long work trip. And the rent I pay means I can afford to travel and do things I like without having to budget too intensely.

Oh and my best friend moved 4 blocks away from me and we can see each other whenever we want!”

catchup1.jpg

The Question:

“How is work?”

The Short Answer:

Still here. Still working on the same event schedule. Still a coordinator.

The Long Answer:

Even though I haven’t been promoted yet, I’ve learned a ton and have been given a lot more responsibility. I was the lead on a nationally televised event and I’ve gotten to travel to Sweden and Finland for events.

My coworkers are some of my best friends and there’s something to be said for walking around the office and no longer feeling like you’re the freshman in high school.

I never wake up dreading going into the office. (Seriously, isn’t that amazing?)

Next year we’re moving office spaces which is sure to make things feel a little different - for better or for worse.

catchup2.jpg

The Question:

“How is your love life?”

The Short Answer:

“Nonexistent (that’s the really short answer). I don’t have a ton of time for dating since I travel for work so frequently, so I’ve pretty much been single for the past 3 years. Do you have any eligible bachelor friends?”

The Long Answer:

OK, the long answer to this is pretty much the same as the short answer except that I can complain for even longer about dating apps and dating in NYC.

I am ready to be in a relationship again, I think. There are days and nights that I’m lonely and mostly I just miss the feeling of caring about someone else and doing things for someone else. The flip side of that is getting to be selfish which obviously has its perks too - my schedule and my time are mine and mine alone. My money is mine. My french fries are mine. The blanket and pillows are all mine. I knew I’d find the silver lining in all of this…

I also appreciate that my parents aren’t freaking out over the fact that I’m 28 and talk about adopting a cat more than I talk about going on dates (actually, they frequently freak out that I might adopt a cat, but they’re OK with the super-singleness). I know a lot of people whose parents pressure them to either find a boyfriend, get engaged, have kids, etc. etc. and my parents are constantly reminding me that there is no timeline and that I am young (but hi thirty - I can see you, please take a step back).

At the end of the day it’s on me that I’m not focusing my time/energy on dating. I can’t really just blame my job (but that won’t stop me from blaming my job…)

I can’t help but feel like I’m someone who needs to meet that special someone in real life. Dating apps just don’t do it for me.

Do you have any eligible bachelor friends?”

(That’s obviously the only natural way to end that conversation with a friend).

Dating doughnuts, nothing new here.

Dating doughnuts, nothing new here.

Question:

So are you still running like 30 miles a day? Have any marathons coming up?

(People love to exaggerate when they ask runners this question).

Short Answer:

After a ton of shin issues and more than one stress fracture, I don’t know if another marathon is in my future and the longest I’ve run in the last 3 years is 13 miles (and that was only once as part of a triathlon…) So I wish the answer was yes, I still run a ton, but sadly I don’t run as much as I would like to.

Long Answer:

I got over an unhealthy relationship with running and stopped defining myself by how many miles I ran. I still love running, and I still wish I could train for another marathon. It makes me sad a lot of the time that my body doesn’t seem to have the same passion for running long distances.

But I’m proud as hell that I can now say I’m a triathlete.

I may not be head over heels in love with biking (it’s hard) or swimming (more like next to impossible) but the feeling of accomplishment at the end of a race makes it worth it. Triathlons reinforce one of my favorite mantras:

You can do hard things.

I had never swam a real stroke in my entire life and I finished a half Ironman distance triathlon last fall. Sometimes I even find myself enjoying a swim at an outdoor pool.

I worked the first and only retail job of my life at age 25 to save up the money to buy myself a road bike that I then taught myself to ride and…OK, I still need to teach myself to properly maintain it…

I’ve learned to love so many forms of exercise other than running and most importantly I’m much more likely listen to my body when it needs a break or a change than I ever was before.

Did I mention my push-up form is better and I can do 3 unassisted pull-ups not to brag but it makes me really happy!

*At this point I launch into my obsession with F45 but you can read all about that here.

Like I said, triathlons are hard.

Like I said, triathlons are hard.

Question:

Any new hobbies? How’s the blog?

The Short Answer:

Not really - I still like going to see shows, still like working out. I’ve been really bad about writing and updating my blog.

The Long Answer:

I’ve stopped and started so many new “hobbies” and “passions” and there are so many things that interest me that it’s sometimes overwhelming.

I tend to get really excited about something, but within a few months I’ve moved on or never started in the first place. It’s something I don’t love about myself.

But the things that I’m really passionate about always seem to stick around.

Reading - I’ve been part of a book club for 3 years!

Travel - I was bit by the travel bug HARD. Between April 2017 and April 2019 I visited 14 different countries. You read that right. 14 countries in 2 years. I had a lot of catching up to do.

Writing - Though my blog isn’t always a focus, it’s always here, and I’ve loved having it.

Fitness - Obviously I always make time for endorphins.

Theater / Live Music - Found my soul sister in music in Annelise and have so many wonderful friends who love theater as much as I do!

There are still a ton of things I would like to try to do more of - more hiking, more trail running, more photography, more plant-parenting (I just bought two plants and I should name them Mari and Kondo because they’re sparking all kinds of joy).

catchup5.jpg

Question:

How did we get so old?

The Short Answer:

I have no clue, but most of the time I still feel like a teenager trying to figure everything out.

The Long Answer:

A lot of the time, I don’t feel like I have this whole adult thing down - I am constantly comparing myself to friends and coworkers and relatives who all seem more mature and put together and successful than me.

A few examples:

  • I’ve been walking around with a suitcase whose front storage pocket doesn’t zip closed. Every time I go to the airport, at least three people stop me to tell me, “Ma’am, your suitcase is open!”

  • When my washing machine buzzer goes off to alert me that the wash cycle is done, it sometimes takes me up to 2 hours to put the clothes in the dryer.

  • Until recently, I was using a cheese grater to store my earrings.

  • The liner of my shower curtain is almost always a little bit moldy.

  • I don’t have a good quality vacuum.

  • I accidentally explode things in the microwave all the time.

  • Cereal still seems ridiculously overpriced.

catchup8.jpg

But on the other hand, I must be a real adult because:

  • I recycle even though it requires a lot of effort to sort cans, bottles, etc.

  • I finally started using moisturizer and eye cream every day.

  • I actually update my razors on a frequent basis now.

  • I've taken wine tours and know what tannins are.

  • I check the weather (most mornings) before leaving my apartment.

  • At night, I pack my lunch for the next day and on Sunday’s I grocery shop and meal prep.

  • I sometimes think that I’d like to learn how to knit.

  • So. many. people. getting married and having babies.

Adulthood isn’t so bad when you realize there are plates that let you walk around with your pizza and wine in one hand.

Adulthood isn’t so bad when you realize there are plates that let you walk around with your pizza and wine in one hand.

This was incredibly therapeutic and I hope it helped at least one person who may be feeling similar things in regards to their progress through life.

Life is in the details, so I’m glad I took some time to remind myself of the little things that don’t necessarily come up in passing conversation.

Please share your own short answer/long answer in the comments if you’re so inclined :)

























Waving Goodbye to 2018! A Recap

Another year is about to be in the rear view and as I get older, the years blur together more and more. Did I go to Barcelona in 2018 or was it really already 2 years ago in 2017? When did I go to that George Ezra concert again? Was 2018 really a 10K-less race year?

I decided to look back and remember some of 2018’s highlights - it’s always crazy to see how much I managed to jam into 12 months.

(PS - you can scroll through the pictures!)

cover.jpg

TRAVEL

International

Never in a million years could I have dreamed I would visit 10 countries in 2018. I am incredibly lucky, grateful and appreciative of these experiences and I hope that 2019 can bring even half as much international travel.

Amsterdam, Netherlands
Berlin, Germany
Krakow, Poland
Prague, Czech Republic
Cesky Krumlov, Czech Republic
Vienna, Austria
Budapest, Hungary
Stokcholm, Sweden
Helsinki, Finland
Riga, Latvia
Tallinn, Estonia

Domestic

It’s insane to think I was in fewer states than I was countries this year!

Boston, Massachusetts
Tampa Bay, Florida
Annapolis, Maryland
Clinton, New York
South Bend, Indiana
Buffalo, New York
Inlet, New York
Montauk, New York
Las Vegas, Nevada
Dallas, Texas

CONCERTS

Every time I got to a concert, I remember how much I love live music and vow that I will start seeing more live music. Finally, this year I feel like I got my fill of incredible music at venues large and small in NYC. The goal for 2019 is at least 12 concerts!

Wakey!Wakey! (Michael Grubbs) Obsessed with the intimacy of Rockwood Stage 3
Joshua Radin City Winery is a fun venue
George Ezra He is the best at talking in between each song and explaining its back story which made me love his music even more
Macklemore On my birthday. In Sweden. Outside. At an amusement park.
Ziggy Alberts I think this was my favorite.
Noah Kahan / Dean Lewis
Passenger
Sofar Sounds Concert A cool concept - you sign up for tickets not knowing where the concert will be held or who is performing - and if they suck, at least it’s BYOB!
Josh Groban / Idina Menzel with my GRANDPARENTS which was amazing
Monobody My cousins band! I hadn’t seen him in years and it was so nice to get see him.
Mumford and Sons / Maggie Rogers After waiting approximately 6 years to see Mumford live IT HAPPENED. And we danced like we had been waiting 6 years.

Please listen to Ziggy Alberts! His music is my Christmas present to you.

THEATER

Another major NYC perk - live theater!

Escape to Margaritaville with my absolutely crazy family
Mean Girls with my favorite girls from work
Sweeney Todd
Drunk Shakespeare
Be More Chill
Dear Evan Hansen with a Canadian
Torch Song
My Name is Gideon with my 6 most trusting friends who followed me blindly
Carousel

I was disappointed by Dear Evan Hansen, but absolutely blown away by Torch Song. Be More Chill is going to be a hit when it opens on Broadway in February… and sharing My Name is Gideon with my friends after seeing him in 2016 meant I could finally discuss all the quirkiness with other people!

I’ve already got plans to see Come From Away and To Kill a Mockingbird in 2019.

WORKOUTS

I tried so many new workout classes in 2018! And fell in love with one, in particular!

Orangetheory Fitness I was meh on this when I took two classes in Tampa, which surprised me. And of any class I’ve ever taken - they have 100% harassed me the most to join. I still get calls and texts despite explaining that I do not live in Florida!

Yoga Vida It’s not often that I love a yoga studio, but Yoga Vida was an exception. Check out their new student discount - $25 for two free weeks and 1 mat/towel rental! After that, I started going to their donation based community classes.

Fithouse A unique concept - a monthly fee for unlimited classes at Fithouse studios (NoHo & Tribeca, currently) including HIIT, yoga, barre, etc. It’s like a mix between a gym membership and Classpass. I gave it a try when they offered opening deals - but the location just wasn’t convenient for me.

CorePower Yoga I did a two week unlimited trial with Core Power and by the end of the week I was really feeling the yogi life! For me, Core Power is a great way for athletes and the un-zen to get into yoga - it stills feels like a workout and I’ve encountered really great instructors. I even took a few Yoga Sculpt classes that I didn’t hate! They have locations EVERYWHERE.

Everybody Fights I haven’t met a boxing classes that hasn’t left me sore for days and totally exhausted! This one, backed by George Foreman, started in Boston and now has outposts in NYC, Lexington, Chicago and soon Philadelphia.

The Cliffs at LIC Rock climbing is so much fun! But I still feel like a total poser.

Y7 Another yoga studio that I can totally get behind! I love the set up of the class - three flows, three times through - once slow, once faster and once on your own to loud hip-hop music! Hot, dark, no mirrors.

Pure Barre It hurts. Everywhere. Not my favorite kind of class, but I see it’s attraction if you’re looking for low-impact! I was just glad I got my mom to come with me!

Spiderbands I’m so sad that this has already left. I took three classes here and thought it was really unique and could also see if being super effective! Not to mention it was fun! It was a shame our first instructor was slightly robotic, but otherwise I definitely would have taken more classes here eventually.

King’s Thai Boxing Bertha got me and Abby to check out her boxing gym and WOW what a workout. Not only was this my first experience holding a pad for another boxer, but we ended class with approximately 100 push-ups and burpees and I almost drowned in my own sweat.

F45 Training Last but not least - F45 Training. I need to write an entire post about F45 one of these days, but essentially I am completely, totally, obsessed and chances are if you’ve talked to me in the past 6 months, I’ve chewed your ear off about F45 and why you should go. Love it love it love it. And cannot wait until my unlimited month of classes in February!

Deck A Day This year I’ve also loved, as usual, the Deck A Day Challenge - a deck of cards workout every day from Thanksgiving to New Year’s. 23 days down! This is my 5TH YEAR completing this challenge which is just nuts to me. And year two tradition of me and Abby going for a park loop followed by deck of cards in my living room!

RACES

My race calendar was remarkably empty this year - but there was really only one big goal - 70.3 Wilmington. And then, it didn’t happen. But what DID happen was an impromptu half-iron distance in one of my favorite places - Montauk!

NYC Tri (July 1, 2018) a cool 94 degrees on race day - the best part of this day was the most incredible cheer squad in the whole universe
03:11:40

MightyMan Montauk (September 30, 2018) a casual 806 feet of elevation gain ON THE RUN
6:40:20

Mt. Sinai Turkey Trot (November 24, 2018) gobble gobble
22:49.44

Currently, I’m registered for the NYC Tri again next year along with the Wilmington 70.3 - although if I will train for it remains to be seen. I was also accepted in this year’s Cherry Blossom 10 Miler so here I come, DC!

BOOKS

I read a decent amount this year, but not as much as I would have liked to. This year, I need to up my game. Always accepting recommendations! Here were some of my favorites:

Beneath a Scarlet Sky
Bear Town & Us Against You
Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly
The Nest
Turtles All the Way Down
The Light Between Oceans
The Sound of Gravel
Flat Broke with Two Goats: A Memoir of Appalachia
The Sun Is Also a Star
The Fiddler in the Subway
The Leavers

Next up on my list is Crazy Rich Asians and potentially the Game of Thrones series?

DONUTS

My doughnut obsession continued wherever I traveled. Some standouts were:

Blackbird Donuts - Boston, MA
Kane’s Doughnuts - Boston, MA
Carlson’s Donuts & Thai Kitchen - Annapolis, MD
*Honorable mention to the maple glazed sweet potato donuts made by Annelise for our Secret Santa!
*Also honorable mention to the time Abby and I ate 3 doughnuts from 3 separate doughnut shops in quick succession following brunch.

I also ate donuts in various countries (Austria, Czech Republic, Finland, Latvia) and I must say - none compared to home!

BREWERIES

I also got to drink some great beer in 2018. Aside from the multiple new-to-me beers I sampled and breweries I visited in various countries, I was able to check out the below in my neck of the woods:

The Bronx Brewery Random Saturday decision to run there after our manicure (followed by BYOB sushi)
Montauk Brewing Company Post Half Ironman Race!
Riverhead Cider House with Mom and Dad after a 60 miler on the streets of Long Island!
Fifth Hammer Brewing Company Post Rock-Climbing!
Grimm Artisanal Ales Pre-Passenger Concert!

2019 Must Visits: Mikkeller at Citi Field and Other Half Brewing Company

OVERALL GREAT DAYS

Beyond the above-mentioned 2018 moments, here were a few other things I loved:

Islanders Games

With friends

fm1.jpg

and with family

My Best Friend Moved to Manhattan

And I tried throwing her a surprise Welcome to NYC Party - the real surprise was that she had known about it since the day I sent out the invite.

allisonia.jpg

Lobster Rumble

All you can eat lobster. All you can drink beer. DJ. Best friends. Dancing lobsters. How could this not be one of the best memories from 2018?

Lobster.jpg

HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

Nothing like realizing you graduated high school 10 years ago to make you feel old! This was a fun night, but not an amazing night. I’m glad I went so that I couldn’t regret missing it - but honestly, could have taken it or left it. Basically paid $100 to talk to 5 people, drink a lot of champagne, and listen to a DJ that no one ever danced too. But - a definite milestone!

hsr2.jpg

INTERIOR DESIGN

I spent a lot of money on a new couch, a carpet and a TaskRabbit to make my living room feel much homier and I’m glad I did! I’m obsessed with my blue velvet couch - every summer Friday I fell asleep on it for a solid 1-2 hours. I now have the coffee table and end table that was in my parents house growing up in my living room and it makes me feel so at home. I had canvases made and hung of my photos from all over the world and finally installed the TV (which has been great for watching GAME OF THRONES!) When I was in Latvia I got a 100% lamb’s wool blanket that matches my color scheme which felt like a very adult purchase and I recently found the perfect accent pillow at Home Goods.

Sign me up for Trading Spaces!

interior.jpg

FOURTH OF JULY

Somehow always makes the “Best Days of 20___” list! This year we started the day with a November Project workout (and epic star jump photo) before going to brunch on the Upper East Side and heading to Croton for a day at Abby’s house! Pool, spike ball, beverages, barbecues, aqueducts, fireworks, dancing - it was perfect in every way.

fourth.jpg

THE GRILLED VEGETABLE PLATTER

I know my dad will read this, and my hope is that after reading it, he realizes that he cannot follow through on his threat to never make the grilled vegetable platter again because it was my favorite meal of 2018 ;)

veggie.jpg

WOLMAN FAMILY VACATION

I originally wasn’t going to make it this year, but was able to go for a quick 3 day weekend and it was the perfect break from the big city! My mom rented a paddle board this year, I went for runs, got some color, ate, drank and laughed with my favorite people.

family.jpg

BACK TO MOM’S ROOTS

I had so much fun exploring my mom’s old neighborhood this summer - we saw the apartment building she grew up in, her school, her playground (“It seemed so much bigger back then!”) and got a beer in the bar her brother’s used to frequent.

The next day I got to take her for a walk at the reservoir in my neck of the woods!

VISITORS

After one million of my friends abandoned me and moved out of NYC - it was so nice to have so many of them back for visits. But saying goodbye all over again is the worst worst worst. ALL OF YOU COME BACK NOW.

COLOR FACTORY

This was not really an art exhibit, more of an experiential marketing ploy for companies - but we had a ton of fun!

CELEBRATING MY BEST FRIEND

Who wrote a BOOK! She’s a published author and we managed to surprise her with a party and I EVEN GOT HER AUTOGRAPH and then we also followed the party up with an ice cream bouquet with a dozen scoops of ice cream while walking through the streets with balloons causing a scene. Buy Ranch: An Ode to America's Beloved Sauce in 60 Mouth-watering Recipes! It’s the prettiest book I’ve ever held.

SUNSET ON THE LAST WEEKEND IN MONTAUK OF THE SEASON

The week after my half ironman race, I went back to Montauk with my parents and their friends and it was the best best best. It was the last real weekend in Montauk where things are open, the pours were heavy, the company was great - the sun wasn’t out much but it appeared on Sunday night for a beautiful sunset and everyone clapped and if you know me you know that I can’t stand airplane clappers but sunset clappers ARE MY PEOPLE.

FIN!

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: